Anger is destructive

In Alcoholics Anonymous’ “Big Book”, it is claimed that the number one offender for relapse is resentment. I concur: anger can turn the best of men and women into self-sabotaging and destructive beasts. I for one, used to have issues myself.

Here’s a few steps on how to manage anger.

Step 1: Acknowledge the anger

Admitting you are feeling angry is the first step. It’s best to admit that you have been triggered so you can take appropriate and defensive action to protect yourself and others.

Step 2: Safely defuse the anger

When children have tantrums, they will cry and rage until they are tired out. Until then, trying to reason with them, is like trying to reason with an angry chimp who will beat you with its superior strength.

Thus, we want to tire out our angry inner child.

Here are a few ways to do this:

Step 3: Apply an Anger Reduction Tool

Once you have a tired out inner child, try applying one of the following tools to the situation or trigger that you reacted angrily too.


In order to avoid getting really angry, it’s best to avoid the following:

After applying these steps, you should be on your way back to emotional equilibrium.

If anger is something you struggle with, it may be worth working with a life coach to help you improve on this.

About the Author

Nick Hatter
BSc (Hons), Accredited Enneagram Practitioner, NLP Master Coach, MAC

Nick Hatter is an Accredited Life Coach and Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP) Master Coach, and is certified in Positive Psychology for Coaching and Resilience Skills. He is an expert on well-being and is one of London's leading career and life coaches.

He has featured on BBC, Channel 4, Forbes, Metro, AskMen, HuffPost and more.

Follow Nick on Twitter: @theNickHatter

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