Dating Readiness Test: How ready are you?

Will your next relationship be built on sand or concrete? This is a question I ask people I’m coaching. In order to not be needy and insecure, and to have a healthy nurturing relationship, we first need to first take an inventory of our lives and make an assessment of how manageable and enjoyable it is.

When applying for a loan, your financial health is assessed. So why don’t we get the same when thinking of applying for a relationship? Here are some questions to test how ready you are for a relationship.

There’s two parts to the Dating Readiness Test.

Add up your scores as you go along, then make a note of it at the end of the part.

PART I

  1. How would you rate yourself self-esteem?

1 = Very low, 5 = Very high

  1. How would you rate the quality of your social life?

1 = Very poor, 5 = Very good

  1. How would you rate the quality of your personal finances? 1 = Very poor, 5 = Very good

  2. How secure are you in your spirituality (beliefs, values, purpose for being, etc) ? 1 = Very insecure, 5 = Very secure

  3. How would you rate the quality of your mental health? 1 = Very poor, 5 = Very good

  4. How would you rate your overall quality of life? 1 = Very poor, 5 = Very good

  5. How happy do you feel when you’re alone in general?

1 = Very unhappy, 5 = Very happy

  1. How secure are you about your body image? 1 = Very insecure, 5 = Very secure

  2. How well do you know your strengths and weaknesses?

1 = Not well at all, 5 = Very well

  1. How happy are you in your current job?

1 = Very unhappy, 5 = Very happy

  1. How much work are you currently doing on any of your unhealthy/bad habits or addictions?

1 = None, 5 = Plenty

Now enter your total score for this section:

PART II

  1. How much would you mind remaining single? 1 = Not at all, 5 = Very much

  2. How disappointed would you feel if a very attractive person turned down your advance?

1 = Not disappointed at all, 5 = Very disappointed

  1. How much do you crave sex?

1 = Not at all, 5 = Very much

  1. How much do you crave love?

1 = Not at all, 5 = Very much

  1. How much do you believe that another person can heal your wounds?

1 = Not at all, 5 = Very much

Now enter your total score for this section:

Your overall score

Subtract your total Part II score from your Part I score to get the overall score.

What your score means

50 = You have the confidence of Tony Robbins. You should be a life coach. Or the next Dalai Lama. Or… you didn’t answer the questions honestly.

Grade 1 (40 - 49) = You’re ready to date. Your life has a rock solid foundation. You are very secure in your beliefs, you know yourself very well, you have a great social life and you love your life on the whole. A relationship for you would simply be a cherry on top of a very wholesome sundae. You’re not afraid to walk away from someone if you feel they’re not a good fit for you.

Grade 2 (30 - 39) = Not quite ready. You understand yourself well, and you know what your weaknesses are, however, you still have some way to go. You need to know yourself better and develop more self-esteem, otherwise, you may become needy and dependent on another person, which is not attractive, and will lead to unhealthy codependent relationships. You need to focus on improving your quality of life. You would probably benefit from some coaching.

Grade 3 (20 - 29) = You probably are looking for someone to fix you and your life. Any relationship you embark on will probably not end well. Therapy and coaching should be your next destination.

Grade 4 (< 20) = See me.

Don’t worry if you scored low. If you did so, find out where you did, and focus on improving those areas of your life . It takes time and patience to get your life in order, but trust me:

It’s worth it.